


Secrets And Lies

by sal_si_puedes



Series: Matter Over Mind [2]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: (but only very mildly), (well - in a way), Accidental Bonding, Alpha!Harvey, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angry Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Beta!Rachel, Biological Imperative, Bonding, Breathplay, Did I Mention Angst?, Donna being Donna, Dubious Consent, F/M, Harvey being an idiot, Harvey/Scottie (not graphic), Knotting, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mike being an idiot, Mike/Rachel (not graphic), Office Sex, Omega!Mike, Omega!Scottie, Porn With Plot, References to Knotting, References to Mating Cycles / Heat Sex, Rough Sex, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-26
Updated: 2014-02-26
Packaged: 2018-01-13 21:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1240699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_si_puedes/pseuds/sal_si_puedes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey and Mike get on with their lives after having spent Mike's heat together in San Francisco. While both of them want to forget what happened, neither of them can. Lies are told and secrets are disclosed. Smut ensues. Spoilers all the way through season 3 (up to ep. 10).</p><p>This starts directly after "Matter Over Mind" ends. You should probably read that one first or this won't make all that much sense.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some lines of dialogue are quoted from Suits eps verbatim. Mike, Harvey and all the other Suities belong to Korsh/Liman/Bartis and UCP/USA Network. Not making money with this.
> 
> Thank you so much for all the kudos and the great comments on "Mind Over Matter", folks. You are amazing!! *beams*
> 
> Still not beta-read, btw. Volunteers to the front! :D
> 
> I am [sal-si-puedes](http://sal-si-puedes.tumblr.com/) on tumblr. 

Everything goes to shit after that. The merger with Darby Int. happens incredibly fast and before Mike knows it, he has betrayed Harvey and lost his trust – lost him. He has also lost his secret to Rachel, the Harvard one, not the Omega one. He gets slapped in the face for that, twice, and afterwards he fucks her against a shelf in the file room. He likes her and he needs an outlet to fill the void of that all-encompassing loss that throbs inside of him. Plus, she is a Beta, which means that he can.

The following weeks are hell on Mike. Everybody in the firm can see that. There are dark shadows under his eyes and he keeps losing weight. He sleeps fitfully, if at all. His dreams during those brief periods of unconsciousness are either nightmares or blurry sounds and images. And very rarely he dreams of Harvey forgiving him for his betrayal. He hates those dreams the most because waking up to how things still stand between the two of them in the real world is pure torture. He just aches, body, mind and soul. He has no idea how to dull the permanent pain that keeps tearing him apart. He never knew that it would be like that, that anything _could_ be like that. It is too much. 

There's one situation that shakes him so deeply he feels something else but pain for the first time in forever. He's just about to make a copy of the letter of resignation he is planning to hand over to Jessica later that day when Louis suddenly appears at the photocopier. A second later he has seized Mike's note from him. Holding it in his hands and staring at it in disbelief while Mike fidgets at his side, Louis asks him why. 

All Mike can answer is "Harvey." Because that is the truth.

When Louis launches into his speech about Harvey having always been Superman, having always worked alone, and how he isn't Superman anymore, Mike nearly faints. He has to lean against one of the file shelves for support. _Does Louis know? How can he know? That has to mean that Louis also knows that Mike is-- No. There's no way he knows. He would never let anything that grave pass. It's impossible._

Mike manages to deflect Louis's attention by pretending to take advice from the Superman-turned-into-Batman-story – that he can redeem himself by helping Harvey win his cases, working his way into Harvey's good grace again. He swears to himself to even put up a convincing show, lest Louis catches on to what is the true underlying cause of his bone-deep weariness. He comes up with the idea to give back his brand new office all on his own, though.

When a tiny amount of his rational thoughts begin to surface again after his encounter with Louis, at least a little shred of sanity, Mike finds himself in a relationship with Rachel. He realizes that he has even told her that he wants to be with her. Mike is fairly certain that he will hurt her eventually, but she is the only thing that helps him keep the pain at bay. He knows he depends on her for that lest he goes insane.

Which is what makes him trust her with his other secret a couple of weeks into their relationship. She had withdrawn after the Harvard reveal and the hasty, slightly rough sex in the file room, not being able to cope with the injustice she sees in what he has done by lying to everyone at Pearson Hardman, well almost everyone, except for Harvey of course. And Jessica. Who found out on her own.

Mike knows that Rachel will stay with him once she has learned that he is an Omega and once he has told her what happened between him and Harvey in San Francisco. After the initial shock and a little recoiling, that is. He knows that she is going to love that he trusts her with a secret so deep and dark, with something that powerful. He knows she'll never be able to resist so strong a pull and he gives his biggest secret up to her to keep her at his side. He knows that most of all it will please her that no one else knows.

When all is said and done, Rachel is okay with it, like Mike has always known she would be. She has known for a long time, perhaps since her childhood days, that certain relationships between certain people can never hold the potential to go further or deeper than being comfortable with each other, enjoying each others' company and being compatible in bed. Mike knows Rachel likes him as much as he likes her and he knows that she enjoys being with him sexually, too. She understands why he needs her and she gets something out of their liaison as well. It works well between them. And there's no danger in it whatsoever – for neither of them – just fun and warmth and rows and understanding and everything else that constitutes normalcy in a relationship. Safety. 

(They will even confess their love for each other later, and they'll mean it, too. Mike does love her and he curses fate (biology) for preventing them from really being together. He knows that that will never be possible, but he still wishes they could. Sometimes he fears he'll always be wishing for that.)

Working with Louis isn't as bad as Mike had thought would be. He knows that Louis wants to win him over and he's prepared to join him as his new associate. Harvey's never going to budge, after all.

He made that pretty clear when he told Mike that they were done. _You and I – we're done._ Harvey's calm and steady words keep ringing in his ears like the most brutal white noise in the history of radio wave transmission. Mike can't remember ever hating a sound that much.

*****

Forgiving Mike and accepting him back as his associate is surprisingly easy in the end. Much easier than Harvey would have thought it would be. It feels like the pieces of the puzzle the world has become in the interim are finally shifting back into place, forming one whole from all its tiny, sharp shards and splinters. The easiness and the calm, simple logic of it make him queasy. He has a vague feeling that there is something he should see, something that he should know about, but he can't put his finger on it so he lets it pass.


	2. Chapter 2

Harvey locks eyes with Mike and hands him the glass slowly. Mike hesitates but then takes it from Harvey's hand. 

"We-- we n--never had drinks before", he says, watching Harvey turn around and walk over to the armchair by the window. 

"I know". Harvey sits down.

"Harvey", Mike's voice rises slightly as he sits down opposite Harvey. "We've just admitted to each other that we're defending a murderer." He pauses briefly. "Doesn't really seem like cause for celebration."

"It's not a celebration", Harvey answers, leaning back and crossing his right leg over his left. "Remember when you said Butch and Sundance were back? They weren't." He purses his lips.

Mike looks at him blankly and shakes his head. "What do you mean?"

Tilting his head a little, Harvey exhales. "I mean it's time I told you I made a deal with Darby to take over the firm from Jessica." He brings his glass to his lips and takes a swig.

Mike freezes in disbelief. After a second or so he lowers his eyes and exhales. He takes a swallow from his own glass and sits back.

"Why are you telling me this?"

Harvey stares at Mike for almost a minute, his eyes wandering slowly over Mike's face and body. When their eyes meet again, he takes a deep breath.

"Let me ask you something, Mike." His voice is measured and brisk. Mike waits for him to continue. "In San Francisco, that last time-- did w--did I--"

"What?" Mike's eyes widen in shock and something akin to panic. He sets his glass down onto the table and quickly rises.

"No! No, of course not." Mike turns around and quickly walks towards the door. Before he leaves the office, he turns his head and looks at Harvey once more.

 _You tell me everything. That's what goddamn loyalty is._ Harvey's words from a few weeks before ring in Mike's ears. He hesitates. Harvey's looking at him with a furrow between his brows.

"You said you never wanted what happened in San Francisco mentioned again. So do I."

Harvey nods and Mike straightens his back. He doesn't look back on his way out.


	3. Chapter 3

"What are we doing here, Harvey?" Mike is furious. The bullpen is dim and deserted and Harvey is sitting too close, _slouching_ on the edge of Mike's desk and Mike is too wired to shut up, which he knows he should. He starts babbling and gesturing vividly.

"We spend _every minute_ of our lives in this office, fighting with each other over meaningless shit for clients that we don't even know – and then, when some _real connection_ comes along, just some-- some little piece of happiness--" His face is flushed and his breathing fast and shallowly. He turns away from Harvey and picks up some files.

Harvey remains silent for several seconds. They seem to stretch endlessly and Mike tenses as he feels Harvey's hand on his shoulder. Harvey squeezes his fingers tightly and doesn't let go. He's very close, standing right behind Mike, their bodies almost touching. Mike can feel the cloth of Harvey's jacket against his the back of his own. His skin begins to prickle and he starts to sweat.

"Mike." Harvey pauses. Mike bites the inside of his cheeks in an effort not to moan at the sound of Harvey's voice. He tenses and Harvey moves to turn away.

"I'm sorry", Harvey adds after a while, lets go of Mike's shoulder and steps out of the cubicle.

"She told you what she did?" Mike asks, shuffling the files in his hands absentmindedly.

"Rachel?" Harvey turns to face him again.

"Guess not." Mike looks up and shoves his hands into his pockets. "She basically forced her to go to Stanford instead of Columbia."

"She found out about you." It's a statement, not a question. Of course Harvey knows, Mike thinks. He always knows.

"I don't want her to go", Mike says, shaking his head and locking eyes with Harvey. "And there is nothing I can do about it."

Harvey doesn't answer but drops his gaze after a second and turns to leave.

"Harvey," Mike calls after him. "Wait."

Harvey stops, turns around and raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"This isn't really about Rachel. Well, not entirely." 

Harvey shrugs.

"Well, it's not about her mostly", Mike says slowly. "I-- There is-- I need to tell you something." He turns around and shuffles some papers around on his desk. His palms are sweaty and his heart is beating rapidly in his chest. He hears Harvey walk towards his cubicle again and breathes deeply. Straightening his back, he faces Harvey. "About San Francisco."

"What about San Francisco, Mike?" Harvey shoots back. "Didn't we agree to never talk about it again?"

"Yeah", Mike clears his throat. "Yeah, we did." His eyes meet Harvey's for an instant before he looks away again. "But we have to talk about it."

"Why? Why now?" Harvey sounds exasperated. "What happened since we agreed--"

"It's not what happened since then. It's what happened before. Back then, I mean. In San Francisco."

Silence falls heavily between them. There's a ringing in Mike's ear, a faint, high-pitched sound. He swallows to make it go away, but it doesn't work. 

"No", Harvey says, his voice dangerously quiet. "No."

Mike nods slowly.

"You lied to me."

Mike nods again.

"I asked you if--. In my office, over drinks. I asked you a direct question and you lied to my face."

"I'm sorry", Mike whispers.

"I don't believe you", Harvey says flatly. "You are still pissed that-- I don't believe you."

"Harvey, I really _am_ sorry", Mike answers quickly. "I shouldn't have lied to you, I should have--"

"Not that. I don't believe you about what you're implying happened in San Francisco."

"I'm sorry", Mike says again and clumsily begins to undo his tie. His fingers tremble as he opens the top two buttons of his shirt to bare part of his throat.

Harvey takes a sharp breath and shakes his head briskly. "No."

"Come see for yourself. This isn't--", Mike clears his throat. "This isn't a lie."

Harvey reluctantly crosses the distance between them, never taking his eyes from that patch of skin Mike has exposed, and he reaches for the collar of Mike's shirt. He carefully lifts the fabric and brings his other hand up. He hesitates briefly but then he touches a spot on Mike's throat, right above his clavicle. His fingertips brush across Mike's skin and Harvey can feel the shiver running through Mike's body translating to his own. "No."

"Sorry", Mike breathes. 

Harvey bites his lips. Panic is building inside of him and he stares at Mike with wide, unblinking eyes. _This can't be possible. And why the fuck had he not known? That goddamn kid._ The battle between fight and flight is clearly visible on his face. The silence surrounding them is deafening.

He squeezes his eyes shut and exhales sharply. "No."

But he knows. He knows what has happened during that last wave of Mike's heat in San Francisco, he remembers it now, and he knows the consequences. He can smell them right here in this room. He doesn't understand why he couldn't before but he can smell them now, on Mike's skin and on his own, responding pheromones. Permanent markers.

Mike staggers when Harvey's hands reach for his shoulders and Harvey crushes their mouths together in a messy, almost brutal kiss. Harvey suspects that he'll probably leave bruises on Mike's lips, but he doesn't care. His movements are frantic as he reaches first for Mike's crotch and then for his own to undo both their trousers.

He pushes Mike's pants and boxers down and roughly spins the other man around until Mike is facing the desk. He grips Mike's neck hard and shoves him forward until Mike's hands are resting on the desk's cluttered surface. The short hairs at the nape of Mike's neck seem to mock his fingers with their softness and he wants to tear them all out, one by one. He quickly frees his own cock and his hips buck forward.

Harvey bites back a moan as he lets his dick slide against Mike's creek. The pre-come already dripping from its tip stains the hem of Mike's shirt. Harvey brings his right hand to his mouth and coats his index and middle finger with saliva before lowering his hand again.

Mike hisses sharply when Harvey's fingers breach his body and Harvey begins to prepare him roughly. He bites the inside of his mouth so hard he tastes copper.

When Harvey withdraws his fingers again, Mike exhales. 

Harvey brings his hand to his mouth once more and spits into his palm. He wraps his hand around his cock and strokes up and down a couple of times before positioning himself and pushing in. He pulls out again almost entirely after a second and immediately pushes back in, shoving Mike against the desk hard. 

Both men are panting. Harvey grabs Mike's hair and yanks the younger man backwards. Mike straightens his spine until his back is pressed against Harvey's chest. Harvey reaches around Mike's body, his right arm pressing against Mike's ribs and sternum, his left hand wrapping around Mike's throbbing erection. He pumps into Mike with shallow, frantic thrusts, fisting Mike's cock in sync with the movements of his hips. Mike moves to meet Harvey's every thrust, his cock dripping pre-come over Harvey's fingers.

"Oh god", Mike moans low in his throat as Harvey's cock brushes over his prostate.

"Shut up", Harvey whispers hoarsely. "Keep quiet".

Mike bites his lips and thrusts back, clenching his ass around Harvey's dick. Harvey hisses and speeds up the strokes on Mike's cock.

"Close", Mike moans. "God."

"Shut. Up." Harvey moves his right hand up and closes it around Mike's throat lightly. He can feel Mike's Adam's apple shift against his palm as Mike swallows, and he tightens his grip ever so slightly. Mike's pulse flutters against Harvey's fingers and his throat is slippery with sweat.

"Fuck", Mike's whisper is raw and haunted.

Harvey can feel Mike's body tense as he closes his hand even a little further. Mike lets out a ragged gasp that turns into a subdued moan as his orgasm overtakes him and he spends himself, spurting his come over Harvey's fingers and his desk in long, white streaks. His dick twitches in Harvey's hand and his whole body shakes with the harsh and bitter violence of his climax.

Harvey pushes into Mike's tight heat one more time before emptying himself into Mike's body. The force of his own climax makes him feel light-headed and he closes his eyes. He rests his forehead against Mike's shoulder blade and tries to will his breathing to slow down and even out. Mike's holding his breath, his cock still twitching in Harvey's hand every now and then.

Harvey lets go of Mike's throat and cock, wipes his left hand against Mike's shirt and tucks himself back in, redoing his zip and button. Shoving the hem of his shirt into his trousers, he steps away from Mike, who has bent over forward, his hands resting on the desk and his head hanging down between his shoulders.

"Get yourself cleaned up", he tells Mike quietly. "And don't breathe a word of this to anybody." He pauses. "That includes me. This is not something I care to remember." He knows as well as Mike does that it's not only the evidence of their fuck that he wants his mind to bury. 

Mike's still panting as Harvey walks away from him. He doesn't look up when he hears Harvey's steps falter for a split second and then Harvey's voice. "We're done. For good this time."

What stings most is that that's exactly the reaction Mike has been expecting. He'd known that when he would tell Harvey what had happened in San Francisco – that Harvey had claimed him in the end, that he had given Mike his mark and had made him his, that he had bonded with him and inevitably had caused Mike to bond with him in return – Harvey would turn away. 

Mike's back in the associates' pool after that. It hurts even worse than the first time around, especially because Harvey keeps requesting Mike's assistance sporadically. Never enough time to get used to the distance. It feels like picking at a wound and never letting it heal. 

*****

Out of nowhere, Scottie's back in the picture and Harvey is surprised to find he doesn't want her gone anymore. He likes Scottie, he even cares for her and he knows that she still loves him, but with all that history between them, he usually doesn't want her around too much. He'd set an ironclad rule for himself back then never to go off his supps when she's near and he'd made it very clear that she was under no circumstances to come near him again when she hadn't taken hers. She never does and Harvey appreciates that, but he never lets her know.

When he needed her help, though, after he'd gotten her the job back and had her sent to London, he gave her something she'd desperately wished for a long time. A tale of how they first met. He changed everything about that first encounter – everything except for that blue dress. It was that, he knew then, that would keep him in her good books. And it was what would make her come back to him should he ever have need of her.

And he knew back then that he would have need of her, eventually. It had always been like that. They would get together again and take comfort in each other. That he could work with. That he could even live with.

He wants to, now. He detests his need to feel reassured, but he does. And now she is an option. The danger has gone away.

He tells her that he wants her in his life the same night he fucks Mike in his cubicle. That isn't a lie. He does. He never tells her about Mike, though. And when things don't work out between them in the end, despite all their best efforts, he simply tells her that he would never bond with her. That he doesn't want her that way.

She believes him.


	4. Chapter 4

The next time it happens is a couple of weeks later in the men's room. They've led a long and arduous deposition and Mike has interrupted Harvey's line of questioning several times, gradually pushing Harvey into a state of searing fury and arousal.

Mike has been washing his hands. He is in shirtsleeves and his tie is slung back over his shoulder to keep it from getting wet. He's reaching for a paper towel when Harvey enters the room.

They lock eyes in the mirror and freeze on the spot. Neither of them moves or even breathes for a couple of seconds. 

Harvey closes his eyes very slowly and when he opens them again, his pupils are dilated with lust. He makes an attempt to turn around and leave again, but before he's even turned half-way he inhales sharply and closes the distance between him and Mike with a few quick strides. Their bodies are almost touching and Mike can feel Harvey's hot breath on his face. His hands are still wet and his knees suddenly threaten to give in.

Harvey reaches for Mike's shoulder and roughly maneuvers him into the stall in the very back corner. He bangs the door shut once they're inside and turns the lock quickly.

His eyes fall to Mike's lips and his hands reach for his collar. He loosens Mike's tie with quick, trembling fingers and shakily undoes the first three buttons of Mike's shirt. 

He moans at the sensation of Mike's hands first undoing his own and then Harvey's trousers and he throws his head back and thrusts his groin against Mike's. There is so much want in Mike's eyes when he looks at the younger man again. Mike's face is flushed and his lips are slightly parted. Harvey nearly comes undone at the sight of that, so he quickly turns Mike around to face the wall between this stall and the next. 

He grabs Mike's hands and places them above Mike's head, a shoulder length apart, palms pressed flat against the wood. He then shoves his foot between Mike's lower legs and kicks Mike's feet apart. Mike hisses as Harvey yanks his trousers and underpants down and he brings his right hand down from the wall to reach for his cock.

But Harvey will have none of that. He bats Mike's hand away. "No", he growls and his dick twitches at Mike's frustrated moan.

"Here", Harvey reaches around Mike and shoves two of his fingers between Mike's lips. Mike groans and sucks them into his mouth greedily. Moaning around them, he coats them with his saliva. Harvey can't help but buck into Mike's backside at that sensation. He quickly reaches down and frees his hot, throbbing dick.

Mike's tongue licks around and between Harvey's fingers, drool dripping down Harvey's hand and Mike's chin. 

Mike grinds his ass against Harvey's groin and moans around his fingers. 

"Wait", Harvey murmurs. "Waitwaitwaitwait--" He withdraws his fingers from Mike's mouth and brings them to Mike's cleft. He slowly slides them over Mike's hole once before pushing them in quickly. Mike clenches his teeth and hisses.

"Hurry." Mike's voice is hoarse and low and goes straight to Harvey's dick. God, he needs this. He needs this right now. He bites down on Mike's shoulder through the cloth of Mike's shirt and Mike's breathing hitches. 

Harvey knows he should prepare Mike more thoroughly but he has to have him now. He's incredibly close already and he imagines himself coming against the small of Mike's back, his fingers still inside Mike's ass, spurting his come all over Mike's shirt and the smooth skin on the curve of his cheeks. He imagines a little of his come dripping into Mike's cleft, running down slowly until it reaches his own fingers. He has to stop.

He bites his lips and rests his forehead against Mike's shoulder, eyes squeezed shut. He can feel Mike's body shaking beneath him, Mike's arms trembling and his breathing stuttering. Mike's radiating heat, and shoving his fingers into Mike's hole one last time is all Harvey can do to keep himself from tearing Mike's shirt from his body and burying his teeth into the muscles of Mike's shoulder.

He withdraws his fingers and wipes them clean on the back of Mike's shirt. He spits into his palm and his cock twitches, leaking pre-come, as he coats it with his saliva.

With trembling fingers he grabs hold of his dick and brings its tip to Mike's entrance. Reaching around Mike's head he covers Mike's mouth with his right hand and pushes in. His hand muffles Mike's moan _or is it a scream_ , Harvey doesn't know. He squeezes his eyes shut until he sees white. Mike's ass clenches around him and Harvey knows this isn't going to take long. He huffs sharply as he pulls out a little and thrusts back into Mike's tight heat hard. 

Mike's mouth is wide open against Harvey's palm and Mike is trying to lick, trying to bite, trying to moan and Harvey can feel that the other man is close, too. He knows that three, maybe four strokes of his hand will send Mike over the edge, but he wants Mike to come like this so he keeps his left hand on Mike's hip and digs his fingers into Mike's trembling muscles. 

Mike groans into Harvey's palm and pushes back against Harvey's groin. He then thrusts his hips forward in sync with Harvey's movements, fucking the air, desperately seeking friction. His whole body is trembling with tension and Harvey knows, he just knows that it won't take much longer to break Mike completely. He pushes in once more and then he stills. His cock is throbbing inside Mike's ass and he can feel Mike breathing rapidly through his nose. After a second Mike's body tenses and goes completely rigid.

A long, low moan against his skin tells Harvey that Mike is about to come. He thrusts his hips forward once more and Mike's ass clenches around him. Harvey can feel Mike explode, can feel how the other man comes around him, how hot, white streaks of semen spurt from his cock against the wall. Mike whimpers into Harvey's palm as he rides the waves of his climax and Harvey can feel that Mike's legs are trembling.

He bites his lips and squeezes his eyes shut. He grunts and tightens his hold over Mike's mouth before emptying himself into Mike's body. His orgasm feels sharp and glistening, milking him mercilessly and beginning to tear him apart at the seams. He doesn't want this. He tastes blood, he has to come down somehow, he has to put an end to this. 

He tears his hand away from Mike's mouth and grabs the base of his cock. He squeezes his fingers around it hard and he pulls from Mike's body quickly, come still oozing from his slit. He's panting and he wipes his mouth with his other hand, trying to catch his breath.

Harvey tucks himself back in, hissing at the friction the cloth of his boxers causes to his overly sensitized skin. He pulls up his zipper and redoes the button of his trousers. He then fumbles to unlock the door and he leaves the stall, still breathing heavily. Walking over to the sinks, he straightens his tie.

Mike hears a faucet being opened and water pouring out. He pulls his pants up, turns around and leans against the wall of the stall. His hands shake as he redoes his trousers and runs his fingers through his hair once he's finished.

Harvey has dried his hands and is leaning forward, hands braced on the wood in front of the sink, when Mike exits the stall a couple of seconds later. Their eyes don't meet in the mirror as Mike steps next to him.

"This is going to stop", Harvey grinds out, his teeth clenched. "Right now." He turns around abruptly and walks towards the door.

"Yeah, well. I never signed up for this either", Harvey hears Mike whisper behind his back and he winces as he steps out of the men's room and into the hallway.


	5. Chapter 5

The next time it happens, it doesn't, in the end. They're in Harvey's office, glass walls and all. Harvey's hand is clenched around Mike's wrist and Mike can feel Harvey's fingers bruising his skin. Mike can't remember how it happened, what got them here. All he can remember is the now. Harvey's eyes are on fire, his pupils dilated and his nostrils flared. His jaws are tightly clenched, his jaw muscles are flexing under the taught skin and the veins at his temples and at his throat are protruding prominently. 

Mike is sure that Harvey is completely out of it and he expects to be turned around, shoved into a corner, onto the floor or pushed against a wall right here and now. His cock is throbbing in his trousers and he knows Harvey is painfully hard as well. 

To Mike's utter surprise Harvey closes his eyes, lets go of Mike's wrist and takes a step backward.

"Out. Now." Harvey snaps hoarsely.

Mike isn't going to be told twice. He turns on his heels and all but runs out of Harvey's office, past Donna's desk and straight for the men's room. He definitely needs to jerk off.

Harvey walks slowly back do his desk and sits down heavily. 

It doesn't take more than a couple of seconds for Donna to stick her head into his office.

"What the hell was _that_ about", she asks without preamble. 

"Donna, I--" Harvey pauses and runs his hand over his face. "I did something incredibly stupid." He swings around in his chair and gazes out of the window at the impressive skyline of Manhattan. "And I don't think I can fix it."

Donna steps inside and closes the door behind her. She walks over to his desk and sits down opposite of him.

"What did you do?" Her voice is but a mere whisper. Harvey has never heard her sound so worried, not even during that Stephen-incident or when he learned of her fuck-up with that memo.

He turns around again and the whole story pours out of his mouth once he opens it again. He never thought he'd tell anyone, but he somehow can't stop that stream of words. Donna just sits there and listens. 

"And now I don't know what to do", he ends.

"Oh. Oh, shit. Oh my god, Harvey--" Donna reaches for him across the desk but withdraws her hand before she touches him and straightens her back. "That's-- You-- you have to go to him."

Harvey shakes his head vehemently.

"No. No, I can't do that. I won't."

"But he's-- you're--" For once, Donna seems to be at a loss for words. Harvey knows what she means to say anyway. 

"I-- It's t-- I can't." Harvey falls silent. He doesn't know how to explain this, how to make clear to her what's going on inside of him. "I'm not--" He bites his lips.

"You may not have much of a choice here, Harvey", Donna states.

Harvey turns back towards the window and closes his eyes. "I know", he mutters and waits for Donna to leave.


	6. Chapter 6

"What do you want, Harvey?" Mike sighs. He sounds as tired as he feels.

Harvey is taking him out for lunch today and he doesn't know why. There are no clients to meet and they don't do that anymore. They're sitting outside a small Italian restaurant and after having placed their orders, Harvey hasn't said a word. He has checked his phone (twice) and unfolded his napkin and placed it in his lap. He's called the waiter back to their table to order a bottle of water to go along with the food and the wine and he's cleared his throat twice.

The tension is palpable and Mike feels too worn out to play along with it any longer, so he simply asks. 

"A heat." Harvey's voice is so low that Mike has to strain to understand what he's saying.

"What?" Mike frowns and sits up straight, smoothing his hands over his chest.

"I want a heat." Harvey says, a little louder this time.

"Excuse me??" Mikes eyes widen and he stares at Harvey in utter shock and bewilderment.

"I want to spend another heat with you, Mike. Don't make me say it again." Harvey sounds angry by now. No, not angry. Annoyed. He sounds annoyed and maybe a little appalled.

"But-- but why? Why on earth would you-- Why should I--?" Mike stumbles over his words and starts playing with his napkin.

"Because you know that I enjoy having heat sex every now and then. You know that I do. Stop fidgeting." Yes, definitely annoyed.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Mike drops the napkin onto the table and looks at Harvey aghast.

"And now that we're--" Harvey adjusts his tie. "Now you're the only one I can have that with. You know that."

"There's no way I'm agreeing to this", Mike states clearly and sits back in his chair. "No fucking way."

"Mike", Harvey sighs. "Think about it. It's-- I-- We--" He clears his throat. "Just think about it, okay?" 

There's an undertone in Harvey's voice that Mike can't quite place. He nods and drops his gaze. Harvey deserves that much.

The food arrives and they share most of their meal in awkward silence. Harvey gives Mike a short update on his recent dealings with the DA, but that's about it. As soon as they're finished, Harvey pays the bill and sends Mike back to the office. He calls Ray and tells him to pick him up as soon as possible. There is a client he needs to see in Brooklyn.

*****

"Are you going to do it?" Donna really doesn't waste any time. She confronts Mike in Harvey's office as soon as he gets back.

"What the--" Mike sputters. 

"Oh, don't play the dumb rookie, Mike", Donna interrupts quickly. "Yes. _Of course_ I know." She takes a step towards him and looks him square in the eyes. "And I know what he has asked you for."

Mike takes a step backwards and for once, she lets him have that space.

"Did-- did he--" Mike stutters.

"No, he didn't tell me that. I just know." She runs her finger through her hair and sighs. "So. Are you going to do it?"

"I don't know", Mike answers, dragging his words. "No, I don't think so. No. I won't."

"Why?" Donna asks, her voice rising slightly.

"Donna, you just have no idea how-- You have no idea what it is like." He starts to pace. "How utterly consuming, how shattering it is to--" He rubs the back of his hand over his mouth. "And he doesn't even--" He pauses and stops pacing. "For him it's just--"

"Mike", Donna interrupts sharply. "Now listen to me." She exhales. "He's going to kill me if he finds out I said anything, but--" She takes a step towards Mike and locks eyes with him. "That man is beside himself over you. He's terrified by what he did, by what he did to you, and that pull you have on him doesn't make things easier. Like, at all. He's drawn to you so much he's--" She stops and lowers her gaze."He's scared out of his mind and asking you for-- for what he asked you for – it's the only way he thinks he can allow himself to be with you again."

Mike stares at Donna blankly. All color has drained from his face and his hands are shaking.

"That way, he can blame it on the pheromones." Donna looks up again. "So. If you have any respect for him, for what he has done for you – you better rethink your decision."

And with that, she turns around and leaves him alone.

*****

Before he leaves the office that night, Mike knocks on Harvey's door. Donna has already left for the evening and it is getting dark outside.

Harvey is sitting at his desk, frowning at the screen of his laptop.

When Mike sticks his head through the half open door and says his name, Harvey looks up, brows furrowed tightly.

"Okay", Mike says, taking a step towards Harvey's desk. He stops after that and clenches his hands into fists.

Harvey's eyes widen slightly and he sits back in his chair. He motions for Mike to come and sit down.

Mike walks over to the desk and hesitates. "I don't know if this is a good idea."

Harvey holds his breath and nods his head towards the chair on the other side of the desk.

"But okay." Mike sits down and stares into his lap. He hears Harvey close the lid of the laptop and shift in his chair. Blushing, he looks up to meet the other man's eyes. "Okay."

"Okay", Harvey echoes and nods his head slowly.

The silence between them stretches and Harvey shifts in his chair again.

"When?" Harvey's voice is hoarse and he clears his throat.

Mike shrugs. "Whenever. You decide."

"How soon c-- I mean, how long do you nee-- When do you have to-- After you stop taking--" Harvey actually stumbles over his words.

"A couple of days", Mike murmurs. "Five or six, I think." He rolls the tip of his tie between his fingers. "Six. Six days."

Harvey nods again. "Okay." He releases a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. "Okay." He swallows. "Next week. Monday. Don't-- don't take your pill tonight."

Mike winces. "So soon? I mean, I-- Okay", he interrupts himself. "Okay."

Harvey lifts the lid of his laptop and doesn't look at Mike when he speaks again. "Be at my place Sunday at 8. We'll have dinner."

Okay, Mike thinks. He can do that. 

"Okay", he says and rises. Harvey doesn't lift his head again, so Mike leaves. When he steals a look at Harvey from outside the office, Harvey has turned his chair around so he's facing the window behind his desk. His shoulders are squared and he doesn't move.

"Shit", Mike mutters under his breath and heads home.


End file.
